None of us parents like to watch our children grow up. When they do, we miss them. Their widening interests and peer groups begin to replace the time they once spent with us, and we find ourselves mourning what was. Even now, my heart feels the ache of that transition as six of our little ones began preschool this past week. A noticeable amount of joy has been emptied out of my days. I now wait until 2:00 p.m. for it to come rushing back through the door with them.
Yet there are profound joys in allowing our children to grow. I often see social media posts from young mothers begging their little ones not to grow up, and something in me cries out, “No! Let them grow!” There is so much more life ahead for them, and for you. As they become teenagers, conversations deepen. You begin to glimpse your influence actually taking root in their lives…whether they want to admit it or not. You can see how their past experiences are shaping them into who God created them to be, and how their future is slowly coming into focus. Those once exasperating traits of toddlerhood…the stubbornness, the intensity, the strong will…begin to reveal themselves as God-given qualities, placed within them for His purposes. Witnessing that transformation is nothing short of thrilling.
IF we take the time to look for it and soak it in.
People who know me know that I am a biblical Martha. I find it extremely painful to sit and be still. I never stop moving or working. I was like this as a teacher, a wife, a mother, and now as a mother to our 42 Sunshine children.
My goal this year is to learn to be still. To pause to take in all that is around me. As I have taken the time to take this time, I have discovered many new and various delights…one of which are our teenagers.
Half of our Sunshine children are now teenagers. Like all mamas, I miss their littleness…their cuteness…their big hugs as they burrow their little faces into my belly when they greet me each day. But I am getting so much more from them now…and I would not trade it for anything.
The root of my joy in them and for them comes from the deep, inner contentment I feel from seeing them turning out okay after all! I cannot look at these teenagers without seeing the scared, hurt child that arrived into our Sunshine family years ago. This child has now been replaced with a confident, secure, social, happy teen. Each one of them are well on their way to being what God sees them to be!
I have taken notice of how readily they step in to help, often without being asked. They recognize a need and are quick to meet it. Whether it’s unloading my car, walking a sick child home, sweeping the floor after an activity, or caring for our younger children, their willingness to serve has become second nature to them.
I have taken notice of a growing maturity during our Bible study times. They complete the assigned readings and journaling, and they come prepared to share what they have learned. They speak boldly and without fear of peer pressure. One of the greatest joys for me is watching their faces as I teach; they are completely attentive, hanging on every word. And trust me, it isn’t me holding their attention. They are falling in love with Scripture and discovering that it truly is life to them.
I have taken notice of their devotion in worship and song. They no longer glance around to see who might be watching or judging them. Their worship has become deeply personal, something shared between them and their God. Now, instead of me leading, they are stepping forward to lead worship during our Bible study times...Marica leads with her soulful vocals while Faustino and Vasco accompany her on the keyboard.
I have taken notice of the beautiful way they express themselves through dance…both the girls and the boys! Watching them glorify God through dance nearly reduces me to a sobbing mess every time. They dance during church programs, at our gatherings, and even on their own, simply because they love to dance. Their joy is unrestrained, and their worship is unmistakable.
All of these thoughts came to a head yesterday when I set aside my never-ending “to-do” list and chose instead to simply sit and listen. The children have been working faithfully to create bracelets for our upcoming Sunshine Fundraiser Dinner in April. Each afternoon, they come on their own, set up a table in Escola Sunshine, and get straight to work. Normally, I pass by that table dozens of times as I move through my day. But yesterday, instead of walking past, I pulled up a chair and sat down with them.
Their hands were busy stringing beads, and their mouths were busy telling stories. As I listened, it became clear that they truly are a family, one that genuinely enjoys being together. They laughed and chatted about everything and nothing at all. Faustino shared about a watermelon he once saw that was white inside, which sparked an animated debate about whether it was truly white or just transparent. The girls giggled uncontrollably over his comments. Somehow, this led to a discussion about whether Mama Terri is white or transparent, a conversation I was relieved to see eventually shift to music. Soon they were sharing their favorite music genres, and before long, one of them pulled up YouTube on the TV to play a new song for the rest to hear.
During it all, Vasco, the ever silent one who never misses a thing, listened in as he quietly made bracelets, his arms lined with all those he has completed over the past few weeks. The younger girls, Tiara and Fatima, still not yet a full part of the teen group, sat to the side on the floor making their bracelets while absorbing everything said.
At this point, I was pulled away into my office to meet with someone. As we talked, I could hear the music continuing to play. They had a string of worship songs playing as they sang along while continuing to work on the bracelets. And they were not just singing under their breath…they were boldly proclaiming. Their praised filled the room and overflowed into my office.
After my meeting, I had to leave to get home. I left them just as they were…talking, beading, and singing. As I drove home, I reflected on it all with a deeply grateful heart. God’s goodness in rescuing them. God placing them in our Sunshine family. God growing them and giving them mercy, favor, and maturity. As all parents know, it has not at all been a smooth road. My staff and I have dealt with a lot of issues over the years. We have shed a lot of tears, had a lot of firm talks, and have said a lot of prayers. Yet with every challenge and trial we faced, we have done it together as a family. We have learned and gotten stronger. Each one has increased our faith and taught us more about our Father God.
So yes, these teenage years may indeed be both the best of times and the worst of times. They stretch us, humble us, and sometimes break our hearts a little. But they also reward us with glimpses of God’s faithfulness made visible in real lives. If we are willing to slow down, to pull up a chair instead of rushing past, we will see it all…the fruit, the growth, the quiet miracles happening right in front of us. And in those moments, when laughter mingles with worship and busy hands serve with joyful hearts, we are reminded that letting our children grow is not something to fear. It is something to behold with awe, gratitude, and deep trust in the God who is writing their story far better than we ever could.
And being a part of it all comes from simply being still and taking notice of the beautiful growth that can so easily be missed.
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