When people of any age are given security and value, they thrive. They are able to let go of their fears and take risks. They shed their low self-esteem and boldly walk in confidence. They are no longer disregarded and ignored, but they realize they have worth and importance.
My very favorite experiences in life are when I catch one of our Sunshine children in moments of quiet victory; when I see them stepping out in their newfound confidence. One such example is our Faustino, now 14 years old.
Faustino was only 12 when we brought him home. He was sorely beaten down, angry and distrustful. (See https://sunshineinafrica.blogspot.com/2021/04/forgotten-no-more.html to read his full story.) To say we were concerned about him is an understatement. Life had been hard on him, and he was a hard little boy. He had never been taught respect, diligence, or manners. He didn’t know of love or that he has value. He was disrespectful to his house mom. He was mean to his brothers and sisters. He provoked our other Sunshine children. He came to our weekly church gatherings with his hood up, his head down, and did not participate or speak a word. At the end of the gathering, he was the first one to exit out the gate. Our biggest fear for Faustino was that he would run off and join a gang of street boys.
We prayed for him and we loved him despite his ways. His house mom, Catarina, stood firm with him and held him accountable. Our program administrator, Delcio, talked with him after altercations helping him to understand how to be a part of a family. We all hung in there and made sure he knew that he was loved and that we were there for him.
Slowly, he began to soften. We saw it in little ways at first. The victories were few and far between, but we rejoiced with each one. As time progressed, you could see a visible difference in his face and in the way he interacted with others. He was kinder and gentler. He asked for an ABC book so that he could teach his little brother, Antoninho, how to write his letters. He spoke up and participated in our church gatherings (with his hood off now). He became an active help to his mother. He began making friends of our Sunshine children. He worked very hard in school and caught up to his peers (after not having attended school for two years).
Recently, he called me to speak privately for a moment. I had a flashback to the early days when he asked for such audiences. It was usually to ask for money, to the angst of our other children who emphatically told him, “You do NOT ask Mama Terri for money!” So I hesitantly walked off with him to a quiet place away from the other children. He pulled out a sheet of paper from behind his back and started to read…
“Mama Terri, I am thankful for all that you have done for all of us. Thank you, Sunshine. I am here thank to you, Mama Terri. Thank you very much for giving me a life. All of you, Sunshine, are very good.
Thank you, Mama Terri.
Kisses to you, Mama Terri.
I am Faustino da Sonia Carlos Sambo and I am 13 years old.”
With tears in my eyes. I hugged him and held him until he let go. I shared with him how loved he is and how proud I am of him. I told him that he is a good, good boy.
They say that as a mother you often must wait until your children are in their 20s or even 30s before they come back to you and thank you for all you have done for them. I didn’t have to wait this long with Faustino. He has come to realize the love and safety and opportunity he has, and he showed me how much he appreciates it all.
And did you notice how he signed his letter? It was more of a declaration than a closing. He was confidently declaring who he knows he is. He is proud of himself. He knows he is somebody and that he is important.
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